Aw you’re cubing grilled chicken for a salad and calling yourself a chef, bless your heart.
Tinder moments - so you can be a fucking creep before we even exchange numbers.
If you swipe right, the screen immediately just fills with badass flames and sammy hagar screaming. See also: fill up on donkey sauce; swipe right to be taken to Flavortown.
Just what every woman dreams of! A gun being pointed at their virtual face. Is this guy for real?
"Look! These cups are tits!" Better or worse than the object-as-dick? You be the judge.
The old casual bicep flex thinly veiled as an arm cross.
If you’re going to have group photos please take a page from Michael, who knows how it’s done. Take a bow Michael.
Easily the 2 best summaries. Ever. End of story. Call those baby tiger sum’bitches out, then text me.
…. Really tho?
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